Theres an ongoing saying about foreigners coming to South Korea. They are either unpopular back home, running away from something, paying off debt, wanting to travel or all of the above.

I fit into three of those categories. I had debt I wasn’t comfortable with, haunted by images of a relationship past that was long dead, and I have the adventure bug in me that wants to see the world.

I came to South Korea, with the knowledge that I would learn to be comfortable alone and accept the fact that I won’t get married. Depressing eh? Well the truth is I do many things on my own and I am very comfortable doing them alone. I have been on several trips, I eat out I go to the movies. I meet a lot of new people that way. South Korea just enhanced that by giving me more things to do.

What that has done has helped me discover my love for hiking, and beaches and mountains. I have become comfortable in my own skin and regained my strength. It was on one of these solo jaunts that I met him.

Someone totally unexpected..never imagined anything would happen. He is funny, intelligent and tall. He challenges me, annoys me, loves me, surprises me and calms me. This wasn’t part of my plan. I’m a planner, I like to set goals and achieve them. This is hard to do when it comes to dealing with other humans. He messed up my plan and I have been having fun ever since.

I am at a crossroads now, between my old life and what is to come. I can feel that what is about to happen is about to be very good. But like Lot’s wife in the bible, its too tempting for me to look back at my old life. I am about to take the leap without knowing where I will land.

I think single women, like myself, here, we stereotype the foreign men in South Korea. Stereotypes always have some basis but the problem with stereotypes is they always discount a lot of people. I think if you are meant to date in South Korea it will happen. Until then, enjoy South Korea, enjoy yourself, don’t indulge in the pack mentality too much, spend a lot of time on yourself. If you don’t date here, at least you LIVED in South Korea. And by living I mean, doing more than getting drunk every weekend.

Money..I have seen what it does to people, I am in the middle of what it does to people. I struggle not to obsess over it as well.  We can’t escape it.  We can manage it.  We should never let it take over our lives.

Preoccupiation over money by those around me has caused suicides, unnecessary family splits, envy, jealousy, bitterness.  It generally brings out the worst in people.  As for myself, as I haven’t ever had much of it, it is hard for me to spend it.  If i do spend money its rarely on myself unless its for food.  I budget and when I am out of my budget, I am out of my comfort zone.  Money is a very uncomfortable subject for me.  I don’t know how to receive it and I am bad at giving it.  I am always worried that it will offend people if I ask them to share the cost.  And money is partly the reason I am in South Korea.  I made quite a few bad financial judgments which caused my debt to soar..not an unreasonable amount..but for me who likes to be in control, it was out of control.  So i pay off more debt than I spend in a month in the hopes that soon it will be gone.  When I was in Canada, the obsession over how to get rid of the debt was eating away like a disease.  But money is not hte only reason I am over here, and slowly becomes the smallest reason.

Learning to let go is hard but very freeing.  Now my reasons for coming here are many.  And worrying about money has gone from the highest priority to one of the lowest. 

I hope that any of you who have problems with money, learn to manage it without becoming obsessed with it.  There is so much in South Korea and in the world to enjoy in a responsible way .

I don’t know why there is so much debate over this.  To handle the occasions where we may run into other foreigners, we should treat them like our comrades rather than germs we can’t wait to wash our hands of.

So in honour of that sentiment, I propose a foreigner code of conduct for just this situation.

If you meet another foreigner on the street, you can choose to make eye contact, nod in acknowledgment or smile.  If they dont’ acknowledge you,  don’t take offence.  However if someone does do any of these things in your direction and you are aware of it, acknowledge it somehow.  It does not mean you have to have a conversation. 

So today was election day in South Korea, and i had the day off. So this afternoon it was rainy and I met up with some friends. I had seen Upara and looked from afar but never been in. It was quite an adventure.

It had all the activities I had not done in a while. Ping pong, bowling, massage chairs, pool, noraebang (singing room) and even a room you could jam to music in.

So we ventured up there in Haeundae, and found out we could get this great deal. For the equivalent of 10 USD, you could get a movie ticket and 3 hours at UPARA. Movie tickets are usually 7 as are passes to UPARA. It was a great deal.

We went inside and played ping pong. I fell asleep on the massage chairs, which were amazing. Then we went to the singing room and sang for an hour. Followed by 20 min jam session where I improvised lyrics, as cheesy as they were.

I didn’t go to the movie today because I had a previous appointment. But thats ok, you have 1 month to use the movie pass.

What a great cheap date. To top it off, Upara is open 24 hours. I so want to go there late at night..only problem is…there are other activities at night i prefer to bowling..such as sleeping or

So on the weekend I hooked up with this great guy after the Busan Beer Olympics.  I had only one beer and he didn’t appear to be drunk.  Now he was wearing this shirt.  I can’t read korean so I am not sure what it said.  What I do know..is it was a really fabulous, hot night.  But now…he doesn’t call.  He doesn’t text.  And the worst part is when I was with him Koreans were laughing, pointing, smiling and giving him thumbs up signs.  Am I missing something????

Ok…you found me out. I know what the tshirt says.  And the guy is not a cad, I have been seeing him for a while.  But the havoc this shirt has caused has been amusing.  We were in Nampodong and everywhere we went he caused smiles. This is great because it fits in with my philosophy of making Koreans smile.  He is all in his glory with this shirt and it is absolutely adorable.  I just hope its a phase.

I find it interesting that Koreans can come up to us and ask us if we know what the shirt means.  But there have been thousands of times I have wanted to go up to a Korean and ask them if they know what the english on their shirt means.  I think I am going to have to start wearing korean shirts.  I just have to find a word that describes me…any suggestions?  Definitely not 바람둥이 .

One thing I never even really considered when I decided to come to South Korea is the death of some of my relatives.  Neither my great-aunt who was in her 80s nor my grandfather who was 96 shown any signs of illness. BUt I have lost them both in the last six months and won’t be able to atttend either funeral.

They are both great people.  My great aunt devoted her life to helping others.  She married during ww2 and her husband died six ddays before the end of the war.  Instead of remarrying, she got a job and used her money and the pension she got from the Canadian government to help others.  Her aid is far reaching.  From Guatamala to Russia, my Aunt helped anyone in need that she good.  She donated a lot of money to church and christian academies, for education and computers.  She even helped my Aunt taht these foreigners to canada were able to get a mortgage in Canada.  She cosigned the mortgage and helped with the downpayment.  There are not so many in the world as generous as her on her income.  The world is a little less gracious without her in it.

MY grandfather is a great man.  He was born in the Ukraine in the early 1900s.  He became a refugee in his own country in 1914 during the Russiaon revolution.  The family lost their flour mill and had to run away.  He came to canada with his big family in 1923.  He had seven brothers and sisters.  He helped work off his family’s transportation to Canada on a mennonite farm.  He met my grandmother during the great depression.  Had three kids, my mom later in life.  And even worked at Ford Motor company for 30 years.  He was retired fror almost as long as he has been working.  He had a big family, 3 children, 10 grandkids, and countless greatgrandchldren.  He was married to my grandmother for 69.5 years.  He was healthy right up to the end.  Still driving his own car, living in his own house, no long term medical stays.  no long term illness.  He went as he should.  His only hospital stay.  I will miss you grandpa and all our conversations of politics and the liberal party.  It was you who inspired me to study politics. 

To my aunt florence, and grandpa,  thank you for being a part of my life.  You have definitely left a mark on my life I will never forget.  Enjoy your life in heaven.  can’t wait to see you again some day.

There are times when I wish I knew korean.   One of my kindy classes is the reason why.

They are all adorable.  Each has such a separte personality.  But there is a hierarchical system being established with the lone girl at the top.

You need to realize these kids are five years old.  But it is so obvious it shocks me.

The girl, the cutest thing you ever did see unless she gets her mean face, is the boss.   She rules the roost.  She will instruct two of the boys to go and punch the outcast.  Now, she realizes one will never really do her bidding.  So she has one under her foot.  If she says jump, he jumps.   If she says go hit that guy, he does.  The one that doesn’t do her bidding, seems to sit back and watch it all happen.  An interested third party so to speak, his interest is very cute, and definitely one of a bystander, not someone wanting to get involved.  Then there is the outcast.  Striving for attention in order to be liked, and yet..is just pushing this hierarchy higher and higher.

The cutest,,and probably most disturbing is when neither boy will do her bidding.  She goes and does it herself.  She will chase the outcast around the room, and even punch him.  And she speaks loudly in korean a lot of things I would be interested to here.

Today I reported her to the korean teacher.  And the teacher was shocked.  This cute, little girl was blaming eveyrone but herself.  She tried to take everyone down with her.  For five years old, she’s really smart and really aggressive.  That could be a good or bad thing.

Even as I write this, I remember a time when I too was a bit of a hellion.  Back when I was six and guys were trying to lift my skirts, I used to chase them around the playground, kicking their shins.  It got the point across.

Its amazing what you can see just by being in tune with tone of voice and body language.  Try it yourself.

In an earlier post,  I discussed bathrooms.  I forgot to mentioned those I have been impressed with.  Besides the fancy gadget at outback and bennigans, I found one that surprised me in the strangest of places.

If you have never been to Taejongdae, you definitely must go.  The hike is invigorating, the views of the sea are breathtaking and in general, just a lovely place.  Half way through your walk you will encounter a circular restaurant.  Depending on which direction you are coming from, there is a bathroom before it or just after it.  This bathroom is a bathroom with a view.  I am not sure if all stalls offer it.  But the stall I had offered me a great view of the sea while I was doing my business.  It is one of those…I never expected that moments.  Must be seen. 

So I was up late last night..and I went for a walk.  Coming home..I met a drunk Korean man, attempting to climb a hill.  Attempting is the key word because the way he was trying to accomplish it was like doing a country western line dance.  He would start on the right side, side step over diagnolly until he was at the left side.  Then he would take a step or two back to regain his balance. Finally he would repeat these moves to get to the right side.  But he never seemed to be going anywhere, like walking a really weird treadmill.

I thought that I would go to my grave with the only humourous bathroom tales involving Belgium and walking into a man’s bathroom to comb my hair and not know it.

That is.until I came to South Korea.

I heard about the toilets in the floor (I am nto sure what they are called) but I was naive to believe I’d never have to face one.  But as Murphy’s law would have it, the time when I needed the toilet the most, the only option was this contraption.

So I had to decide what I was going to do….and it was a very liberating experience.   I discovered women CAN pee standing up…and about this crouching business, I’d never do it.  Everyone forgets the splashback.  I won’t go into details but it is possible for women to pee standing up without making a mess.  In fact, having the experience of having to clean a men’s washroom on several occasions, I believe that women would be more successful at aiming then men are. 

Now have I grossed you out?  I have one more tale.

When I first arrived in South Korea, I went to Bennigans.  Bennigans is a nice place with western food.  I excused myself to the washroom, when i saw an intimidating toilet.  It had all these buttons on the side and I couldn’t figure out how to flush the toilet.  Here’s a tip: before playing with the buttons, make sure you are sitting on the toilet first.  I had not and got water everywhere.  The toilet had everything, played music, a rinser, a heater.  It was perfect.  I am so getting one of those before I go home.   So beware if you see a toilet with many buttons and do as I suggested.  Sit down first.